What should I do?
What are my options?
So we can better understand your situation and help you please answer the following questions in the form below.
1. What is the Problem? Briefly give all pertinent details, including the parties involved and their relationship to you.
2. How have you tried to resolve this problem?
3. When the problem has been resolved what outcome do you desire?
4. What are your options, what are the pro’s and con’s of each option?
5. State the problem in the form of a question…
What is the problem?
Derek is 15 in the 9th grade and is very much in danger of failing this year. His biggest problem is he will not go to school. He misses at least one sometimes two days a week of school. I wake him up every morning but then I leave before he does. Some days he goes back to bed, other days he leaves for school but just does not make it there. Derek is failing everything. I cannot make him go to school; he just will not listen to me.
Derek’s father is no help; he blames me for losing control and not being a good mother. We’ve been divorced for 5 years. I have tried everything but when it gets right down to it I cannot make Derek do what I tell him. He talks a good game but does not follow through. He is not openly defiant but I admit I do not push him becasue I do not want to force a confrontation I cannot win. I do not know if he is doing drugs but he has a new group of friends that I do not know.
How have you tried to resolve the problem?
I have told the school that I cannot make him go to school. They tell me they can file charges against me. His dad tells me to have him arrested but he is not a criminal, he will just not do what I tell him.
What is the desired outcome?
I want Derek to go to school and do what I tell him.
What are your options?
I do not know. I could make him go live with his dad but he hates his stepmom. I could turn him over to the juvenile court but he is really not a criminal. I could let him fail and then let him drop out of school when he is 16, I feel like that would be giving up on him, I do not want to do that at all.
Put it in the form of a question.
How can I make Derek go to school and quit messing up?